There are many reasons why women experience abuse, ironically the historic reasons remain similar.

Example, most people struggle to understand their own behavior, yet they “expect” to understand others. A lack of understanding oneself, leads to decision making based on ignorance and conceit. Most folk make emotive decisions regarding marriage which is perhaps the start of the problem.

In the era of prophets, Moses, Jesus etc. the institute of marriage was respected. “Living together” was improper and social norms were established. Even Mary the mother of Jesus the Messiah needed divine intervention to explain her pregnant. An angel explained to Joseph that Mary was blessed by the Creator and Jesus spoke as an infant to explain his mother’s uniqueness. Without a charge from Joseph and with infant Jesus speaking, the Rabbis/Pharisees could not kill Saint Mary.

Today, many people live as they please. Kids grow-up estranged, whilst their fathers refuse liability. Usually kids in such a caustic milieu evolve into unfulfilled teens and adults as the psych-spiritual setting is partial. Unless the custodial parent has solid spiritual values, problems increase. In a world where, alcohol, drugs and promiscuity is promoted as mainstream values, the family suffers.

Teenagers tested by a milieu that promotes self-destruction often seeks solace mid their “own”, this includes those similarly “broken” by historic shortfalls. The damaging behavior thus recreates itself.

A quality partnership requires a huge effort including spiritual, psychological, physical and material well-being of both. If one is weak the other must be stronger, since weakness perpetuates itself.

Example, some folk are lazy and stupid etc. Studies suggest that a relationship based on obvious failings are doomed unless the other accepts that failing. Oddly women marry lazy, stupid men and later complain. This leads to more problems and the abuse begins. What else, but abuse can be expected from a lazy and stupid person when challenged. Some men do not have the emotional or spiritual aptitude to manage themselves, yet women are eager to marry them.

In the words of the wise, parents must teach their off-spring how to identify spiritual and emotional values, including inner and not just outward “transient” beauty.

Cllr Yagyah Adams

Cape Muslim Congress